Mihi ut Decoras Vobis

I want to be the best I can for you,
I want all your dreams to come true.
How can one accomplish this;
and give their fullest love certain bliss?

Lets search these waters high and low
amidst the darkest shadows that we sow,
For the perfection one can bring forward
-and the likes to which your heart preferred.

So we have come past all the romance;
made our silent vows, now step our dance,
Within that I wish to obstruct parts of me,
to give to you the best that we can be.

Time with flow unincidentally betwen us,
and now before too late I must confess,
That be all the strength within me now
-to the unspoken fantasies, do avow!

Filling Broken Tiles

*Warning: Rant*

Tiles that construe a madness of thought, provoking the tight jawed revolution that peers over distant edges to manipulate the deep process of impact dwelling like those preserved tin cans pushed feeble attempts on legless chairs – floating through a moral code that I am no part of. Who do you think you are? Aren’t we supposed to spend these wasteless hours daunting on those simple words and sounds that bring us at a strange tone together? Why are you still here, for the sake of what we are and to become in this yellowed reality, where photographs extract themselves from film that (BREAK)

never really existed. And as this is where we find ourselves today (when the tide creeps in through our open bedroom windows; the concept RAPES our coherent thought), we are left BLOODY, BRUISED, and quite thoroughly MISUSED…do they understand that we can never forget those singe-ing touches that come back to us every evening as hot tears fall relentlessly? Do they understand that pity is NOT what we ask for, as our mouths form no questions of that manner…And one day, we will be like a strong army, easelessly marching onward with teeth barred determination!

Creased in Painful Acts

Who in the fuck do you think you are?
Moping around throughout these days,
as if you had problems that hurt the heart-
But how is that so when there are no people,
no outward happenings, goings, comings
To provoke this sadness that dwells within?
How often do I want to smack those tears,
they fall without worthy from your prying eyes;
How often will I bite my lip, clench my jaw,
in belief that this is all an elaborate act?
Since when did you shrug around silently,
with a heavy weight upon your shoulders.
We are all just as torn as the person to our side,
we are all in the exact amount of pain – as humanity,
So where do you get off thinking you can go
To a far edge of this matter and weep?
I wrap my fists around themselves constantly,
begging my raging thoughts to calm right down,
But how can that happen with you before me?
-Your exaggerated features that etch deeper,
I want to tear them off quite vigorously…
But I stop myself because I know later,
at some strange point when you forget to ACT
(even if you don’t feel yourself doing so),
I love the blissful feeling of you inside of me.
Now, how will I be able to enjoy that…
When I’ve gone and dismembered you??

We are defined by our experiences, not our lack thereof.

Blindfolded Moments

I don’t really understand,
my mind works in teeters.
These ideas they bound-
like feral rabbits running;
The thoughts that pass,
Of wayward afternoons
Filled with dusted silence,
because we cannot speak.

Then there is the evening,
pressing primped people
To an unwavering tap.
So you lure me there,
I fall for senseless things-
taken aback by forth,
The opposite of Love
but all just the same.

A dreary head snaps,
eyes flood with a vision
That vastly resemebles-
the opening morning.
Arms fall, legs asleep
mind with vivid images,
Wordless conversations
are what get us through.

You Should Have Always Been My Friend, Not My Lover

It makes me sick to think about it.

We spent so many nights awake,
crying together about nonesense.
These were cautious emotional times
That coursed us into grave action.

We used to hold each other
As tight as we could ever handle.
Now I hold somebody else,
and you have slipped away.

We no longer talk for hours
Because there is no need for that.
Instead you call and hang elsewhere,
leaving me in the cruel dust.

We could confide in our heads,
Make love with our hurt hearts
And you throw all of this away,
as if it were just that simple.

We wasted months on whatever
This was that hovered between.
Unable to work out our differences,
we parted for all the better of us.

We cried, screamed and kicked,
Not exactly happy with The End,
but we are better now apart
Than we were ever before, as one.

We have made a better future,
from a charred up, scarred past.
So why can’t you and I find
the time to keep a friendship?

We could move mountains,
shine brightly upon the darkness.
We could be the best of mates,
if you would take this friendly gesture.

We could have everything we need
But you runaway rashly,
just like the Madman you are.
You are too blinded by yourself.

We now love separate souls,
and this does not hurt me at all.
I enjoy this life I live today,
and the fact that it is not you I kiss.

Still…

We should talk once again,
about nonsensical ideas and events.
But apparantly it hurts you too much,
to let go and just be my friend.

It makes me fucking sick, to think about all of this.

These Storms

I thought of you as the rain fell tonight,
the streetlights gleamed in through windows
as we drove down a familiar road.
Droplets creased on the ridges of my face
and hid the tears I held back with bite,
My make-up smudged into pale skin.
With the rain, however, I am not sad
because it reminds me of you for now,
It reminds me that you think of what I am.
You will still find me beautiful like this -
soaked and isolated, alone and lost -
and whenever I come home, you’ll be there.
It’s assurances like you, all of these people,
that I can keep a smile on my mind.
Weaving in and out of this existance I ponder;
when will the suffering of those I love end?
When will the tears stop falling with this rain?
The storm blows itself over and I find my way home,
and there all of you are sitting and embracing me.
Now I know that wherever I may be,
love is a constant, undying concept
That you will always bring to me.

Winds of Strength

We walk down paved streets of fallen leaves,
autumnal colors of vibrant orange arouse us.
There is a wind that pushes past our scarves
And caresses our goosebumped skin, numbing,
but we walk on with our hands clasped tightly.

How many sleepy nights were spent grinning,
smiling at prospects of dreams coming true?
It is in those nights and weary eyed mornings
That foolhardy happiness can be achieved,
All through the power of being oneself, whole.

The same wind that surges against our stride,
can take any glass moment of beauty and shatter it.
Never will I, or should anybody, be able to handle
Watching the one they love the most die
In total pain, their fears arise in the darkness.

So when the time comes, if it ever does,
when the wind decides to betray what is here (what is precious),
Then know that I will do anything to stop it.
There will be no place or time within any reality
Where I will be able to watch the life slip from those brown eyes.

The world and the people in it are all to important to lose,
but I would turn a cold eye if that meant keeping your smile.
To wake a sleeping man you have to prod lightly,
tread gently against his tired features itched in
And once he wakes, you restrain and contentment comes.

I will fight for the right of Life.

I Miss You, But Not Too Much

I really do not know why;
and I can’t keep up the lie
Of not wanting to try,
to reach out and grab that guy,
The one that took away to fly
far from the place I soar high,
now most of what I want is to try,
take your orders and defy,
rip your wings from the sky,
To bring you back into my eye,
keep you close and sing, ‘oh my!
how I love you when you’re close by,
and how I laugh at you when you imply,
That there are better places that supply
the feelings that we now so rely’.
I really do not know why
but I know I cannot lie,
and say I want to say goodbye.

I don’t know why I’m so blue;
because the warmth that was you,
has left me sitting saying adieu,
Waiting for a look at the old view
of before we turned everything askew.
Can’t recall all we’ve been through,
but I know it’s more than a few,
So I ask myself a question for two,
‘In times that seem so construe,
why was what we had so taboo -
happiness so hard to pursue,
And our love too complex to subdue,
Why couldn’t we just stay true?’
Instead our love that is now overdue,
will never make its great grand debut.
I don’t know why I’m so blue,
but I know from my heart’s tattoo
that it’s got something to do with you.

Now that I am equally paired
I feel no need to have this compared,
to a time before that needed repaired
By two unwilling and two impaired.
Thankfully we were certainly spared,
as our love in the past stands declared,
but the time that is now bared
Will be of anew kind of moments shared.
We went too hard and with too flared,
our heads were not cleared or prepared,
but we still leaped like nobody else dared.
Now that I am equally paired,
my smiles feel slightly aired
as we kiss, love and upon the time we ensnared.

The Traveller

The trees are blessing grounds,
leaning wayward branches down
forward through our sounds -
of pleas to get out of this town.

Shade falls in black stripes
that cover our lies tonight,
As we squander through types
that will lead us to the bright;

Passageways open suddenly
And we tumble down them,
caressing the slight of to Be.
We will be left to condemn.

I feel my body now numb,
lost within a tumult of itself.
To the winds I now succumb,
with or without yourself.

Catapult me through this plane
And I promise not to come back,
and I pray to keep this sane
But it is patience that I lack.

Of Nowhere, Everyplace and Here

I watch the sunrise sinking
and think to myself, of all the possibilities
of all the choices within us,
What was it that pushed me here?

What was it, this here place?
It was an Everyplace,
one would find their comforts and pains
located scratched within here.

What was in here, what still is -
darker colors bursting through lighter ones,
Your feet traipsing my wooden floor
out into the garden where I lay

Beneath a starred sky, we knew
that someday we would get up there,
somehow.
Here was where were we in this moment,
in this Everymoment we can’t force out of.

To fate we need accept, flow with tides
that will take us faraway from here.
For what are we in this here, this now?
Uncategorized musical chords,
strummed out on an untuned guitar
(with three strings).

It was here that I was this
nothing that dipped within itself.
It was here that I could not grasp
the concepts that those others had.
Accept, I wave with it all
for my eyes are those ocean seas.

Unable to function against a wall
its in this garden I am stuck,
unreleased for the time being;
We sit in wonder at the skies above.
Is it ever thought about that perhaps
I am happy because I know,
I know this can’t be changed?

Yes, those are cries of joy you hear
but is there not an uncovered desire
in those gray orbs of thrashing seas?
Still asking oneself,
What was it? What was it?