Oh, how I dearly miss my maiden’s lips,
So soft, perfect, I remember they were.
Alice she took my flowers in small sips
Her orbs sang only of sexual lure.
Constant cascading through the night we did,
Pushing aside all our morals and thought
Alive was and is my lusty ruse ‘mid-
My darkest dreams of the night til’caught;
Caught up in love Alice then ran vastly,
Running like an infants very first leaps
Beauty and beast are never to be,
Yet in her eyes and lips forever keep,
The intense secret of Alice and I;
Rose and thorn then struck apart
– till we die.
The Curiousity Shoppe
To Spiritize (Old)
(Some sort of abstract ballad I wrote years ago)
Flows of wind forbode thee
To trickle through the forest tree,
Caution enter here-to all in key.
Live in freedom if spirit free-
Her barren feet trudged through
the ground of happy mourning dew
Her spirit young, almost new.
Live in seldomn, is spirit seldomn-
Voice so smooth she widely wandered
Chat rising – soul unfurled
Not realizing of the danger to occur.
Live in risk, if spirit does risk-
Into the woods her voyage did lead
The breeze around her become unkeyed
Danger came to every little deed.
Live in love, if spirit does love-
Wildlife tried to repress her
She kindly replaced their fur
Yet soon everything began to stir.
Live in lust, if spirit lusts-
Running free and running wild
Her story turned away from mild
This here, her lovely soul of a child.
Live with commitment, if spirit commited-
The Green Man stood amazed
he backed down from the gazed;
of the tree, for she was unfazed.
Live with greatness, if spirit is great-
Nature became her home to heart
They welcomed only her to cart,
Along with them in journey neér part.
Live with creativity, if spirit is creative.
Her bright orbs told a story grand
the story of her journey was banned
To all but him and The Green Man’s land.
Live with wrath, if spirit wrathful-
Even though out of key, twas lil’
He came in night and made the kill,
her heart stopped-the journey fatal.
Live in vain, if spirit is vain-
The story ends in grave
She left with a smile on face
Her book, (though tied with bloodied lace)
will never end,
for she did mend,
and this message send,
To all those condemned.
Live everlasting, if spirit everlasts.
For The Greater Good of God
(written three years ago…when my mind was kinda strange 
)
take me to a place unreal filled with blood-swollen candy drops.
Chains dangled from candle-lit ceilings chatteringly.
Strips of flesh stapled to the velvet curtains
Your screams almost match mine in the hollow dungeon
Chokers ban our necks tightly, silencers are thrown-in.
Gagging on my own blood as your teeth dig into my skin
As the pale moonlight frowns upon us…
this is my Gothic fantasy subsided in ecstacy.
…
Leather tightens under my grip
– knuckles white with anticipation.
My feet taunt the floor built by a thousand hands.
Adrenaline pumps
– faster, faster The metal jolts forth
Before me an empty road of journey
a dusty journey on the shield
Eyes gleam like the artificial sun they are
A glorious rumble awkes the beast, its chest vibrating
the blue mass serves, dancing like the wind under its feet…
….
Feet that roll,
all controls at my fingertips
Listening to my every command the beast slows,
Red.
Dusk came, my lights shut off welcoming the sun instead.
The beast, oh how she used to gleam
I remember the blue once new and sharp
Now her lungs rattle defensively at every moment.
SHH, the traction halts
– My love slow down, Stop!
As I dreamt that night, my lips curved -
curved into her only words…
Honda, Honda, Honda…
To Rhyme or Not To Rhyme
Try and figure THIS rhyming scheme out! It kinda took me forever…there is pattern <3 Written at Centauri 2007.
There you stood to die
Afterwards what am I to be?
My days forever will cry.
Why did you have to defy?
I have lost what’s left of me
There you stood to die
My eyes watered in the sky
Fingers slowly slipped in key
My days forever will cry.
that was me, which was my,
Brilliant light I neér see!
There you stood to die.
The hour has come to lie
tis time to pay my fee,
My days will forever cry.
I walk away with a final sigh
Nothing left of you but me.
There you stood to die,
My days forever will cry…
Just To Be Random-Ized
Riff-raff raced/,/Running ’bout Recklessly/./ He ran in the Rain/,/After Janet Jumped/./ Janet jived back/./Judging Jack I imagined (Ike)/,/ Is it ionized/./Is it Ike?/,/ Harley is harvasting/./ HARDLY crops heightning/!/ he heaves hotly/,/Silently Sara sprawled/./Springing spouts spectacular/!/ Squadling Serious Sense/./
Mmmm……dontcha love those exercises??
To Question It
The blinds creep up the window without anybody watching them.
The train continues to blow and chuck even though it is empty of its passengers – why is that? I don’t want it to be like that. I want it to stop rolling…there is no reason for me to continue on. For any of this to continue.
There are some things in our minds that if we released them to the world, it would kill us. There are parts inside of me that could destroy an entire nation. Your eyes are tight and content, you will tell me in a few hours that “you were not inspired enough to say anything” or that you “thought you wouldn’t be able to help” well maybe if you showed a little fucking EFFORT.
Personal. Too personal.
Back on track we fall down these blinds and into the rain where we stand. Disgrace, you are a complete mess and disgrace. Gather yourself back together.
Streams flow down my bedroom walls at night as the shadows that lurk in the corner keep me awake for too long. Yet my weary eyes rest beside you.
Not tonight.
Doubt fills up a glass in which I pour restlessly down my own throat until I cannot take anymore and I begin to choke on it myself. Parasites ravish our oh-too-human figures as we forget why we are even here in the first place ————— Did we ever even know anyways?
No.
Bumps crawl and shiver over my body, I am begging for warmth but this society is too fucked up to give it to me. Finally I have found something to hide myself from the world including myself – break all the fucking mirrors in sight…break them all and with that shattered glass cut a line down your skin and let the blood pour forth and diagnose your problem – and temporarily solve it. I was not that bad. I was not. I was not. I am. I am now. I am now. I am now alone.
If I give into conformity – then I would not have these problems. But then I would have the inner problems of not being myself, right? It would be impossible for me to be satisfied either way…therefore I am destined to end up like our old hero – Hamlet. I am stuck between life and death – which one is better? To leave the horrible conditions of life to not be able to return (who knows what is behind that wall)? Or deal with life and its hardships….I do not enjoy that option.
So now allow me to slither away back into this bed…a cold metal is welcome to my skin and not your touch because it is untrustworthy. Oh sweet serenity in the form of hot, iron-tasting liquids…this is what makes me feel alive. Can’t you help me to find an alternative?? Obviously not.
Why I Cry At Night; Phase Four
Because I lay beside you and am still alone with tears swelling in my eyes.
Why I Cry At Night: Phase Three
I slowly see the smoke return, but in a different form this time…
This phase can be described fully through “A Perfect Circle” lyrics which will be posted below…
(What’s So Funny ‘Bout) PEACE, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDING:
As I walk on through this wicked world,
Searching for light in the darkness of insanity,
I ask myself, Is all hope lost?
Is there only pain, and hatred, and misery?
‘Cause each time I feel it slipping away, just makes me wanna cry,
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?,
What’s so funny ’bout peace, love, and understanding?
WHAT’S GOING ON:
Mother, mother,
There’s too many of you crying,
Brother, brother, brother,
There’s far too many of you dying,
You know we’ve got to find a way,
To bring some loving here today
Father, father,
We don’t need to escalate,
You see, war is not the answer,
For only love can conquer hate,
You know we’ve got to find a way,
To bring some loving here today
FIDDLE AND THE DRUM:
Oh, my friend,
How did you come?,
To trade the fiddle for the drum,
You say I have turned,
Like the enemies you’ve earned,
But I can remember,
All the good things you are,
And so I ask you please,
Can I help you find the peace and the star?,
Oh, my friend,
What time is this?,
To trade the handshake for the fist
And that is also why I cry at night…if you do not understand you do not know me well but if you know me you will understand. No explaination needed. =)
Why I Cry At Night: Phase Two
The smoke seems to slowly disappear. Wane off with that same air and is suddenly replaced by another painted picture…this on consists of me lying beside Him with sheets covering our shivered bodies as we wrap ourselves quietly into each other and wonder what we could do with our time. Our short, precious time.
The part that gets me here is that I lean over and I tell you secrets of my life and I whisper words of the future I want to have with you and then your simple responses and no returns make me question things. I speak of children, family, loving life to its fullest, traveling, really just LIVING and you say “Ok” and then go back to sleep. I stare at your beautiful face and look into those eyes of molten chocolate (as I have always described them) and you apathetically lay there before me. Would it kill you to spontaneously tell me what you think about me with words falling truthfully out of your mouth (with no thought whatsoever) instead of with highly concentrated words that fell from ink or fingertips. Even if you want to tell me something bad about myself – at least it would be fucking truthful and I could believe it to its fullest. I just tell myself; He needs time, he does not know how relationships really work yet, I shall give him that time. But it kills me.
I want (I know, it sounds like I am whining now but remember the purposes of these writings and I will re-explain at the end of this passage) to feel your hand over my womb and your breath hot in my ear telling me how much you desire me and your body showing it. I want to feel those fingertips on my body instead of pressing buttons and I want them to feel me tremble beneath their touch and then tremble in return but instead I get a wide-eyed expression and nothing more. How about randomly kissing my cheek and telling me how you feel about me at that moment?
Or giving to me a promise you know you will not forget and know you can keep.
I am ‘whining’ and typing these things because I was asked a little while ago why I cry at night…so I am doing many passages on the exact reasons of why I cry at night (the biggest reason at the top). Phase three is next!
