Nearing Midnight at Decisive Road

A wall flips itself open,
rotated like a fridge door;
I will not let this stop me.
I will, however, pause
and assess what’s forth -
This situation can’t get messier,
but God knows I like it muddy.

You feel my hot stare
but do not move or fall back -
How am I supposed to go,
forward when there’s no indication
Of what you want between us.
So I’ll stop wasting my time,
that precious abstraction.

I will grab what I want
and if it’s ill received,
I will come into knowledge
either way,
I want to touch you.
To feel that same connection,
that vibe so strong -
Will you pull away?

Victoria Lane, Port Loring

Serenity is found
in places like these;
the water runs still against battered rocks,
You can hear
the distant Ojibwa cries
That come to the trees leaves
with the wind.

Soft morning light drapes
through opened skylights,
and it’s then that I’ve realized
Time dissipates as the body
Is closer to nature.
As night draws
birch bark starts our flames -
licking its steel cage.

A Helpless Captive of Desire

What is desire?

The need to feel, to touch
a caress of want on skin
A mental abstraction
that we cannot get enough of.

Dear Marc (Name Changed),
I’m writing this letter that will never get to you in hopes it will give me more courage. For what? To tell you that I vibe you, feel more than connected, our minds melded slightly with a bridge. It makes it so that when I’m with you everything is good and free, but now I’m trapped by wanting to touch you and feel you all over. I want to explore all that is you – in your soul and on your body. But for once I’m nervous to be shot down, but hopefully this will help it to pass.
A Desire-Tortured Soul.

Desire Creates Fools

I have never been nervous before;
hands twiddled with sweat,
My lip bleeds from the bites
as I glance over every moment I can.

I have never been this submissive before;
wanting you to make every decision,
Sitting back with a smile waiting
for any kind of situation to happen.

I have never been craving before;
something so much as I do you,
Your nonchalant air pulls me in
and I know that I’m held hostage.

I have never been so childish before;
my usual senses stripped from me,
As I am succumbed to simple emotions
ones that I still have not yet placed.

I have never thought like this before;
so I’ll try and force myself to go,
With that nonsensical usual flow
and maybe that’ll bring me what I want.

I have never not known before;
where things were in these places,
What it is people are feeling in return
and now all I wish for is a little knowledge.

I have never been in fear before;
that my actions will turn back on me,
And one of these days I will look
like the fool that you’ve made me become.

Tweed

For first sight its a bashful experience strung out with strangers from the same place and the times are incoherent to those participating. A together collectiveness is dreamed of in the lonely basements of heads that are filled with adventurous details and no way for them to paint themselves like the clouds on the sky…then this grand opportunity of greatness and windy chances rushes past and so it is grabbed selfishly. A crazed sensation delves itself through punctured wounds and dripping saliva as the dusk breaks into itself and creeps upon us another new day that we are to be graced with. When the sun will rise again it will be known, it will be shown that here was a great place at a great point in time. Time the vigorous enemy that falls over tired lids that pry themselves back open again to get a glimpse around itself and tries for the brain to recollect the little cells it has left. This is forever youth. The old man with the swollen belly and a beer trapsed under his breath is youth here – for it is all the same and we are all connected through a vein of self destruction in the most positive of form.

Cum-scire

If you look deep into the pre-Cartesian, you will find
what it is you seek in the words of philosophy.
You spend so much time in your thoughts behind walls -
but when will it become clear that experience is outward?
You cannot fully reap the rewards of knowledge here,
when you refuse to charitably let it flow from broken veins,
Like a trickle of water down a summers sweat -
when will you learn?

Happiness can come every time a lid lifts to its grace,
Prosperity can shuffle through crowds whenever opportuned,
but still you sit in contemplation and meditation
Believing that all of this loneliness will bring you the answers.
Did you forget that this is a global community and that salvation
is not something befit just for you and yourself,
That the only ways of reaching its full potential
is with the guiding hand of those you love and whom love you?

So I wait for you to come to your senses,
wait for the journey of realization to take its place
a path that was trodden on not much before,
One that we will continue to understand with time -
(that mental construct we so loathe at nights).
And I ask you, my dearest friends once again,
when will you learn?

Level Up: Neuroelectric Circuit

Become befuddled by the shining ambiguities,
the light that drapes itself with constant dust-
A memory laid out through broken paradoxes.
If you cannot see the reasons buried here,
for lips pressed together in anxiety-
Then they will dry to curt ripples instead.
When you are given the chance to redo,
those simply mistakes dribbled in crimson-
You will turn away and ask to keep the scars,
instead.

To let your mind release unto itself,
a world of possibilities from experiment-
You must first let go of the fear of death.
To be raptured by Euclide’s phases,
delved through bars of imprisonment-
The situation must find itself to an extreme.
It is just to be said that for you to be here,
in a moment where your essence exists-
One must push themselves up and over the limits of
extreme.

Let Me Liberate You

[To not only Noah Page but all those whom I love the dearest (ie. Rip, Adam and all those friends in Peterborough, those childhood bonds, high school sweethearts, friends that just chill like Peter, Frankie and other Allistonians, my family, and almost every soul I've been granted to meet at Centauri - specifically Jocelyn...You are all the wind under my wings]

It’s all about perceptions;
To smile and see through the haze
of the smoke that dribbles outwards,
Into the late night of our expired youth.
I wait for these moments in time,
to allow my lips to twitch upwards
With a slight inclination of agreeableness with life.

We should be overjoyed to be living it,
instead with sit with puddles on our shirts
mourning over loses that aren’t yet gone.
We fret the small scraps on our wrists-
forgetting that they are just reminders,
That we are alive and should be celebrating.

As sun crawls up through mildewed blinds
I wish that you were here with me,
but your negative view draws you further in
Than my positive one on the breath of this world.
I wish I could show you through my eyes,
the Earth that I see before me
in this time and civilization that we find ourselves.

We fell into heaps of emotions and soon forgot
that there is so much more than just us,
forgot about meadows plowed with busied insects-
Grass that greened brighter after the rain.
I lost myself, too, in that same old haze
and thought too much of things not to be thought about.
Now that I’ve recollected and realized these realizations,
I wish you could see through my eyes today.

To bring each person the happiness deserved,
and to breed a love that builds itself with peace.
To hold you tight in the middle of the night;
promising that storms come but always go,
that clouds will always look painted to me
and the world is one large canvas or song
that sings itself loudly and happily in my ears.
Can you hear its chime too?

With elegance I’ll pass through these days
and I’ve come to know that you may come back
or perhaps the need of happiness has left you -
and henceforth I will travel these seas with just friends.
This is the way you mean it to be,
for the time that comes to be the present.
Even though it is your company I prefer,
it is not the one that I am allowed.

And I thank you for your rude awakening,
it helped me get my eyes back in their place.
Now that I am no longer blind I can reap
all the goodness that there is to feel
and all that there is to experience.
I have successfully torn down every wall,
all the barricades in my way
and now corrupted society cannot touch me
Just the optimism of Life in itself.

You sit miles away loomed in darkness,
the vibe that sails from your being is sad
and if you allowed me to I would change it -
as a friend, as a lover, as a partner, as anything
that You decide me to be for you.
I will travel through this existence in ease,
and I wish that you could find it too
and I know that I could help you.

My tears have long since dried
and my worries have said their goodbyes,
Now it is just my surge to change
All that I see and feel is out of place.
Your place was here in these arms
(but only once my eyes were cleared,
which I have you to thank for doing so).
I was not ready to find you yet,
and my soul is never ready to lose.
If you wish to stay in this draped darkness,
do so for as long as you will need it -
you are a free spirit and mind that is still,
locked within itself and needs some time.

Still I know that when the time is right,
you will understand my soul is cleared
and even if our physical selves dry out
Your essence will travel to find mine,
and mine will be waiting for yours.

So I sit but do not wait myself,
I will pass the time with smiles and laughter
creating experiences and growing stronger
So that when you come I will never fall down,
I am a Dryad, an oak so strong,
that even the largest of axes cannot crack me.
I believe in myself and the humanity of this world,
people like us with perceptions like ours
(albeit yours is still clouded,
I promise one day it will change)
can affect the world and push into it-
like a needle into skin-
A pulsation of brilliance and purity.

We can save everyone’s soul.

Only if you take my wings for a while,
fly above these skies and through restraints
Come to my side and see life without walls,
And then you will have the courage and strength
and push to want to tear yours down Harder, faster.
To live without confinement will bring enlightenment,
I cannot wait for your spirit to soar with mine
(it’s quite beautiful up here,
with your essence here as well it would be
Simply breath-taking).

So allow me to stay right where I am,
hear my words and feel their truth in your veins.
I have been set free and my goal
is to set those whom I love free so that we can breed
a world of entire Freedom outside these walls,
that I know I have broken forever.

I will be your best friend,
your spiritual guide,
your lover,
your partner,
your Ying,
your smiles,
your laughter,
your souls flight,
your anything,
For I am willing to give whatever you will
(as much or as less that is asked for)
to anyone whom I love this much,
including those friends I surround myself with,
for it would make me eternally happy
If it was more than just me this high.

What Happens During Loneliness?

an empty inbox
an empty bed,
an empty home
an empty head.