Need For Numbness

And I cannot stop thinking of surrender to Death.
Oh, how quiet it would be in deafened solitude,
For I would welcome it with everything inside me.
To stomp out that flickering light left so fragile,
it would feel so sweet to bury myself in the ground
Or that rope, so arousing, as it burns through my neck.

And don’t dare ask me why if I do part from this world,
for you, my dearest of loves, should understand it all;
The pressure pushing down on my skin everyday,
the absolute need to physically please these vermen.
To be a better me and to look a certain way.
No more can I take the pain of inadequacy.

I long for darkness, the cool embrace of nothingness.