[To not only Noah Page but all those whom I love the dearest (ie. Rip, Adam and all those friends in Peterborough, those childhood bonds, high school sweethearts, friends that just chill like Peter, Frankie and other Allistonians, my family, and almost every soul I’ve been granted to meet at Centauri – specifically Jocelyn…You are all the wind under my wings]
It’s all about perceptions;
To smile and see through the haze
of the smoke that dribbles outwards,
Into the late night of our expired youth.
I wait for these moments in time,
to allow my lips to twitch upwards
With a slight inclination of agreeableness with life.
We should be overjoyed to be living it,
instead with sit with puddles on our shirts
mourning over loses that aren’t yet gone.
We fret the small scraps on our wrists-
forgetting that they are just reminders,
That we are alive and should be celebrating.
As sun crawls up through mildewed blinds
I wish that you were here with me,
but your negative view draws you further in
Than my positive one on the breath of this world.
I wish I could show you through my eyes,
the Earth that I see before me
in this time and civilization that we find ourselves.
We fell into heaps of emotions and soon forgot
that there is so much more than just us,
forgot about meadows plowed with busied insects-
Grass that greened brighter after the rain.
I lost myself, too, in that same old haze
and thought too much of things not to be thought about.
Now that I’ve recollected and realized these realizations,
I wish you could see through my eyes today.
To bring each person the happiness deserved,
and to breed a love that builds itself with peace.
To hold you tight in the middle of the night;
promising that storms come but always go,
that clouds will always look painted to me
and the world is one large canvas or song
that sings itself loudly and happily in my ears.
Can you hear its chime too?
With elegance I’ll pass through these days
and I’ve come to know that you may come back
or perhaps the need of happiness has left you –
and henceforth I will travel these seas with just friends.
This is the way you mean it to be,
for the time that comes to be the present.
Even though it is your company I prefer,
it is not the one that I am allowed.
And I thank you for your rude awakening,
it helped me get my eyes back in their place.
Now that I am no longer blind I can reap
all the goodness that there is to feel
and all that there is to experience.
I have successfully torn down every wall,
all the barricades in my way
and now corrupted society cannot touch me
Just the optimism of Life in itself.
You sit miles away loomed in darkness,
the vibe that sails from your being is sad
and if you allowed me to I would change it –
as a friend, as a lover, as a partner, as anything
that You decide me to be for you.
I will travel through this existence in ease,
and I wish that you could find it too
and I know that I could help you.
My tears have long since dried
and my worries have said their goodbyes,
Now it is just my surge to change
All that I see and feel is out of place.
Your place was here in these arms
(but only once my eyes were cleared,
which I have you to thank for doing so).
I was not ready to find you yet,
and my soul is never ready to lose.
If you wish to stay in this draped darkness,
do so for as long as you will need it –
you are a free spirit and mind that is still,
locked within itself and needs some time.
Still I know that when the time is right,
you will understand my soul is cleared
and even if our physical selves dry out
Your essence will travel to find mine,
and mine will be waiting for yours.
So I sit but do not wait myself,
I will pass the time with smiles and laughter
creating experiences and growing stronger
So that when you come I will never fall down,
I am a Dryad, an oak so strong,
that even the largest of axes cannot crack me.
I believe in myself and the humanity of this world,
people like us with perceptions like ours
(albeit yours is still clouded,
I promise one day it will change)
can affect the world and push into it-
like a needle into skin-
A pulsation of brilliance and purity.
We can save everyone’s soul.
Only if you take my wings for a while,
fly above these skies and through restraints
Come to my side and see life without walls,
And then you will have the courage and strength
and push to want to tear yours down Harder, faster.
To live without confinement will bring enlightenment,
I cannot wait for your spirit to soar with mine
(it’s quite beautiful up here,
with your essence here as well it would be
Simply breath-taking).
So allow me to stay right where I am,
hear my words and feel their truth in your veins.
I have been set free and my goal
is to set those whom I love free so that we can breed
a world of entire Freedom outside these walls,
that I know I have broken forever.
I will be your best friend,
your spiritual guide,
your lover,
your partner,
your Ying,
your smiles,
your laughter,
your souls flight,
your anything,
For I am willing to give whatever you will
(as much or as less that is asked for)
to anyone whom I love this much,
including those friends I surround myself with,
for it would make me eternally happy
If it was more than just me this high.
A Day in the Life of a Sociopath 