Forgiveness

All of the charcoal memories
(burned black into our skin),
We wiped them off long ago –
so why ponder what is no longer there?
The forgiveness we said lasts,
an eternal trust then is built.
Leave alone what has happened,
ashes drift easily with the passing wind.

With the memories brushed on by,
what have I left to talk about with you
In order of improvement, that is?

I sit here idly, kneeling down
in front of you bringing your needs,
Flaunting your desires and dreams.
Kindness and compassion builds us,
but it is not very mutual at all –
your short remarks ring in my eardrums.

As I treat you like the King you are,
I am as such but a servant swatted.
What did I do to deserve this?
All humans make mistakes and we
have forgiven each other of our –
equally blackened marks.
Still I am acted upon as if dirtied,
ruined by a shade so dark.

It would not be so bad,
if the world around me were not the same.
Cast out because of my mind –
its workings unknown and unwanted
for they are foreign and unusual.
Considered a freak for what is natural to me,
and even though your unoften, uneven
words say otherwise –
I can tell that you mean different.
Your scared and unaccepting,
or at least that’s how I feel
Trapped here, I am, drowning in this pool
of ostrasization because of my differences
And it hurts me to know your amongst the others.

Show me otherwise, it is a dare.
I challenge you to sound like you care,
just because you’re ruining your life –
(even though I am trying my hardest,
to piece it back together for and with you) –
does that really mean you get to treat mine,
as if it is the reason for your hell?
We put ourselves in these situations,
I am the other trying to help you out
but I am wounded for the compassionate gestures,
For the caring you said you loved so much.

I want you to accept and appreciate
the largest part of who I am,
The blood that drips from my skin
represents the thoughts underneath it.

I told you my over-compassionate nature did me more bad than good.
Look at how it’s made you treat me…
like you can walk all over me because I will forgive and forget in the end.