Cascading through like waters that brush themselves down a tanned back; freckles mark the days that ones mind seems unable to reassess. As a human race we are thwarted for that non-conceptual entity that which is time and when pleasures are given do you not wish to just stop it? Some say that the difference between the human race and the rest of the universes living organisms is that we have the largest conscious mind, which does not automatically give us the right to believe we are stronger in some way – smarter, if you will, for it is only true if we come to completely master this said consciousness, an ongoing struggle. I can see that difference though, lying beneath breathless moments where your hair twines with mine as our naked limbs are stretched outward; I hear your words gently press into my mind and they create an immediate reaction of blissfulness and that giddy emotion takes over. I can see the difference in how it is we can love one another, how we caress fingertips-to-skin. I can see the difference in our elapsed conversations where language fails us and I strive to flow my thoughts and ideas into your head, my essence paws at the entrance of a weakened wall begging to be let in so that further understanding can take place. I can see the difference in small interactions with strangers, the politeness through gritted teeth. I can see the difference when I become lost in a separate realm as tapped water cleanses my body for hours whereas others will never know the privilege of society and its class system. Then it comes down to the true question; would one want to give up those precious moments for a more sensible, primal and instinctive existence? Once we have tasted the freshness and overall freedom of being bound by a concept like time it is truly difficult to be able to lose ourselves in the midst of nature once again to come one with this relative collectiveness which is the multi-verse.
So it remains as such; how to have that fresh taste still on the tips of our tongues whilst not being restricted by that fellow called Time? Perhaps it is a question that will fuel an undoubted journey upwards, outwards, skywards and forwards through a rippling life of constant positivity. I have faith and confidence that I will find a place where this can be achieved; struggling through the winters but feeling its worth once the sun beats again, cuts and bruises proudly marched as a representation of the Hunter, a shelter befitting for comfortable survival and possible abandonment. To travel, learn the ways of every plain and organism so that coming one with whats surrounding is simpler. Strangers faces will float in and out of life with the exception of a small group of hanger-ons, but the periods of meditation grow larger as our minds crave the understanding of what it is we are and why it is we are. But a fear leaps into my throat that pauses all these plans and takes away the driving exhilaration, the fear that I will have to go out there alone. For solitude is necessary but to live ones life as a Drifter with no other drifting counterpart makes up for a tortured soul that questions itself too much. So till this Drifter finds another one (more likely till the offer is accepted), this one shall be tethered to a place of struggling self awareness.
A Day in the Life of a Sociopath 